So, This guy sends me an IM on Yahoo. He lives in the same town I do… This is his Yahoo Profile

[05:23] me_lyke2party: into guys?

… ok, that’s random .. and No I’m not. However, I felt like responding with this:

[05:29] bigtengu: only when they’re groveling at my feet begging for me to release them from the pain and suffering they endure.

I figured he’ d go away and get the hint. but no such luck. He comes back with this gem:

[05:29] me_lyke2party: I wanna see your cock

er, OK. so I head over to Google Image Search and look for a non-suggestive picture of a cock…. while I’m doing that, he gets impatient and says:

[05:31] me_lyke2party: your probably small
[05:31] me_lyke2party: See yah

I respond a minute later with a picture of my cock:

[05:32] bigtengu: http://fosterfamily.surnames.com/farming_in_the_hood/farming_in_the_hood_images/rooster.jpg
[05:32] bigtengu: there’s my cock

… he doesn’t respond….

[05:33] bigtengu: I’m just curious
[05:33] bigtengu: did you read my yahoo profile?

still no response. Must be talking to someone else … a few minutes later:

[05:36] me_lyke2party: no why?

Ok, My yahoo profile contains this wonderful list of hobbies:
I enjoy: Computers, Corrupting the minds of the weak and innocent, Hulking war machines, lurking, public urinals,flesh sculpture, and collecting beanie babies.

Thanks to my hero, Oderus Urungus. He has the same hobbies I do.

Anyway, I responded with the following:

[05:37] bigtengu: well, I’ve thoroughly examined yours.
[05:38] bigtengu: you should probably do that before you start randomly messaging people asking to see pictures of their rooster
[05:38] bigtengu: If you’re that hard up for pictures of roosters, I’m sure google can help you with that problem

I was laughing at this point. I thought it was pretty funny. He responded with:

[05:38] me_lyke2party: Are you hung
[05:38] me_lyke2party: Is your penis BIG

You can’t beat a clue into this guy with a Clue Stick[tm]!

so I continue my fun, and I feign ignorance.

[05:39] bigtengu: *GASP*
[05:39] bigtengu: how gauche!

I like using big words. Unfortunately he didn’t seem to understand.

[05:39] me_lyke2party: huh?

Ok, I’m tired of this.

[05:39] bigtengu: er, come back when you’ve read Webster’s new American English dictionary
[05:40] bigtengu: first you want to see pictures of my rooster
[05:40] bigtengu: then you ask about my penis?
[05:40] bigtengu: this is progressing a bit too fast for me

And he comes back with time-tested ultra-witticism:

[05:40] me_lyke2party: Get a life

Anything but that! please!

[05:40] bigtengu: wait
[05:40] bigtengu: I’m not the one messaging people asking to see their penis
[05:40] bigtengu: well
[05:40] bigtengu: asking about it
[05:40] bigtengu: although now that I know what you look like
[05:40] bigtengu: and where you work

This is in his Yahoo Profile, it’s a hospital about 10 miles from here.

[05:40] bigtengu: I shall pay you a visit
[05:41] bigtengu: to remove your colon and add it to my collection

I collect colons of the damned!

[05:41] bigtengu: if you don’t understand
[05:41] bigtengu: please read my yahoo profile.
[05:41] bigtengu: it’s a hobby of mine
[05:41] bigtengu: collecting colons of the damned.
[05:42] bigtengu: I happen to enjoy flesh sculpture too.
[05:42] bigtengu: I’m wondering what I could with you … not much meat on your bones.
[05:42] bigtengu: I suppose you could use an extra ear
[05:42] bigtengu: or perhaps a 3rd nipple.
[05:42] bigtengu: I so enjoy adding 3rd nipples to people
[05:43] bigtengu: especially when it’s in the middle of their forehead
[05:43] bigtengu: right below it, I write in small letters “tengu was here”
[05:43] bigtengu: and I send them to work

someone else was messing with him to, and if this person gives me the logs, I’ll also post them here…
He was still on, he didn’t block me, so I fired off one last retort:

[05:54] bigtengu: see what happens when little boys don’t know how to use the intarweb properly?

He still didn’t respond .. so I grovel.

[05:57] bigtengu: you won’t talk to me anymore
[05:57] bigtengu: Don’t you LOVE ME!?!

still no response. I decide to scare him a bit more before I go to bed.

[06:12] bigtengu: the sun is bright in the sky, and it draws heavily upon my body.
[06:12] bigtengu: I now must rest
[06:12] bigtengu: but I shall return in the evening when I desire the flesh of a young man to sate my thirst
[06:12] bigtengu: I shall feed
[06:13] bigtengu: and you shall be my first victim

and with that, I post it on my blog

I really hope he comes across it.
(I mean this.. not like deadsexy meant he really hoped his landlord would come across his blog )

anyway, g’night folks!