I was wandering around Wal-Mart today, as I had to pick up a few things, and it was close by.  I usually try to avoid the place like the plague, but I was in a decent mood, and I had the ability to ignore everyone due to having my headphones in.

I stopped in the hardware department to grab a new hose for the back of the washing machine (the hot water hose leaks), and started my way back to electronics.  As I started walking past toys, I heard this ungodly screeching noise.   I turned to look, and some 6 year old kid is crying, presumably because his mommy wouldn’t buy him some useless piece of plastic.  Normally wailing crying kids irritate the ever-living hell out of me, but I realized that this kid was suffering.

I was ecstatic.  I felt joy well up inside of me, a joy that I really had never felt before.  I was happy because this little brat wasn’t getting his way.  His mother was scolding him and telling him no, and he was throwing a temper tantrum.  I tried to hide the smile on my face, but was unable to.  I wanted more than anything to kneel down next to the kid and say in a sarcastic baby voice, “Awww, your mommy won’t wet you get a wittle toy? How sad for you… NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I SLIT YOUR THROAT!”.  Fortunately I was able to suppress that urge, as I’m quite sure as funny and enjoyable as it may have been, it probably would have ended badly for me.

I continued around the corner towards electronics where there was a large traffic jam of people where I was forced to stop.   The kid continued to cry and stomp his feet and his mother continued to scold him.  At this point the brat’s mother grabbed his hand and started dragging him in another direction.  The little shit actually grabbed on to my cart and let out this blood-curdling shreek “BUT I WANT IT BLURBLURFVDSLJHERIUERFGKGERBEWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!”

I continued to have a huge grin on my face as his mother pried his little hand from the side of my cart, and dragged him off in another direction.

Never before has Wal-Mart actually brightened my day. I loathe the place, and I’m usually in a very foul mood by the time I get home.  This time though, the pain of Wal-Mart was offset by seeing the suffering of some child.

If there’s a god, I’m so going to Hell.