Your tears, they are delicious!

Hello, dear readers!

It’s been quite a long time since I’ve put anything here, and I have no excuse other than sheer laziness and possible writer’s block. I took a break from Eve Online awhile back to play Star Wars: The Old Republic, but then the tears of highsec pubbies called out to me. I cannot resist them.

The last week or so in Eve Online has been awesome. It kicked off with Burn Jita, which got tons of media coverage from gaming and non-gaming news sites alike and was a pretty huge success! Since that ended, I’ve been killing hulks, mackinaws, retrievers & covetors in highsec as part of Hulkageddon V.

The tears are flowing, and they are delicious. For example, I killed one guy’s retreiver and then podded hima couple days ago. Suddenly this evemail shows up in my inbox:

My what?

If that wasn’t enough. suddenly a conversation request pops up! I’m waiting for my Global Criminal Countdown to end, I realized the guy was a little over a month old, so I decided that perhaps I could try to educate him. Instead, this hilarity followed:

[17:27:23] Skinny BiSh > Your fucking dead
[17:27:32] DaiTengu > oh?
[17:27:38] Skinny BiSh > Watch your pussy ass
[17:27:44] DaiTengu > u mad, bro?
[17:28:05] Skinny BiSh > Only a Noob asks that question
[17:28:34] DaiTengu > yep, u mad
[17:29:10] Skinny BiSh > Im glad to be the highlight of your life
[17:29:22] Skinny BiSh > Now you can cut your wrists and end it
[17:29:53] DaiTengu > ha. you were just a mild diversion
[17:30:26] Skinny BiSh > Oh dont let me stop you from cutting your wrists then
[17:30:42] DaiTengu > I haven’t looked at your pod loss mail. the level of rage here is abnormal for a retriever.
[17:31:12] DaiTengu > so wait, you’re telling me to kill myself?
[17:31:14] Skinny BiSh > Eh…..I just know who to hunt for for the rest of the game
[17:31:44] DaiTengu > you can find me in VFK most of the time. We’re in the Deklein region.
[17:31:53] Skinny BiSh > Wow Didnt know you couldnt comprehend English?
[17:32:46] DaiTengu > I find this quite hurtful. it’s a video game and you’re saying you wish me to harm myself IRL?
[17:33:15] Skinny BiSh > You interpret it any way you like
[17:33:46] DaiTengu > You are such an angry little pubbie
[17:33:58] Skinny BiSh > Pubbie? Wtf is that?
[17:34:16] DaiTengu > it’s you, you’re the pubbie.
[17:35:28] Skinny BiSh > Ok maybe only iliterate people use pubbie
[17:35:35] Skinny BiSh > I dont know what that is….
[17:35:50] DaiTengu > welcome to eve online!
[17:36:19] DaiTengu > you’re such an adorable, yet very ~angry~ newbie.
[17:36:47] Skinny BiSh > How do you know this isnt an alt moron?
[17:38:36] DaiTengu > because you’re being an adorable newbie, and not a bittervet.
[17:38:41] DaiTengu > a bittervet would know better.
[17:39:03] DaiTengu > congratulations though, you’re now one step closer to bittervet status!
[17:39:15] DaiTengu > don’t forget, I do this because I love you!
[17:39:25] Skinny BiSh > Yippie
[17:39:51] DaiTengu > You are now freed from the shackles of veldspar mining!
[17:40:05] Skinny BiSh > To what? No veldspar mining
[17:40:19] Skinny BiSh > I was watching youtube
[17:40:27] Skinny BiSh > wasnt a fair fight anyways 😀
[17:40:42] DaiTengu > I’m pretty sure I scooped veldspar from your wreck.
[17:41:04] Skinny BiSh > Yes any other goodies?
[17:41:44] DaiTengu > naah, it was only a retreiver.
[17:41:57] Skinny BiSh > How many points you get for that?
[17:42:15] DaiTengu > points?
[17:42:19] DaiTengu > is this WoW?
[17:42:22] Skinny BiSh > Hulkaggeddon?
[17:42:52] DaiTengu > oh, it’s hulkageddon! I almost forgot!
[17:43:03] DaiTengu > and you were still mining?
[17:43:13] DaiTengu > and you’re still so very, very ~angry~ about it.
[17:43:25] Skinny BiSh > Not really I have the cash to replace it….
[17:43:32] Skinny BiSh > Just annoyin now
[17:43:45] DaiTengu > less angry, more annoyed. please replace it, I’l be back again!
[17:43:54] Skinny BiSh > lol
[17:44:07] Skinny BiSh > Ill make sure im not mining there
[17:44:18] DaiTengu > Goonswarm Federation will be more than happy to have you wardec us if you’d like revenge!
[17:44:36] Skinny BiSh > Just got out of a war
[17:44:38] Skinny BiSh > actually
[17:44:51] DaiTengu > So did we. perhaps you heard of Burn Jita
[17:45:02] DaiTengu > Jita burned.
[17:45:05] Skinny BiSh > oh yea….that was sad…..
[17:45:14] Skinny BiSh > pathetic if you ask me
[17:45:24] DaiTengu > that was all kinds of awesome. I killed 20-some freighters.
[17:45:35] Skinny BiSh > Freighters?
[17:45:38] Skinny BiSh > Really….?
[17:45:43] Skinny BiSh > And you call yourself a pro
[17:45:45] DaiTengu > well, not me alone.
[17:45:53] Skinny BiSh > Try something that shoots back
[17:45:55] DaiTengu > I didn’t call myself that.
[17:46:03] DaiTengu > come visit us up in Deklein sometime.
[17:46:15] DaiTengu > unless 0.0 is too scary for you.
[17:46:48] Skinny BiSh > I like how you are egging me on to come to your place when your clearly outgunned here In Eglenn
[17:47:27] DaiTengu > It’s true. Concord got the drop on me
[17:47:48] Skinny BiSh > Really smart
[17:49:03] DaiTengu > did I damage your sense of e-honor or something?
[17:49:38] Skinny BiSh > Nah Im fine now…..good job on sneaking up on me and stabbing me in the back tho
[17:50:09] Skinny BiSh > Ill get a replacement Ret today actually
[17:50:10] DaiTengu > definately damaged your e-honor.
[17:50:25] DaiTengu > you’re showing all the classic signs
[17:50:54] Skinny BiSh > I wont feed you any more bullshit now…..
[17:51:02] Skinny BiSh > Have a great day sir

All this from a Retriever.

And that was the first bit of joy I’ve received from ganking a retriever this week! After I killed this guy’s retriever, I took out his pod as well.

So what did I learn from all this?  Never pass up on killing a retriever!


If you don’t want to click on the killboard links, I’ll just leave the important bits here:

I don't even … What the … oh god.
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